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The 3 Biggest Mistakes People Make When Getting a Divorce

After having done thousands of mediations, the Divorce Mediation Institute of Utah began to track and measure commonalities between different divorcing couples. Our results were very telling. This report is a result of that research.

One- Following the well-intended advice of friends and family.
Everybody has his or her own legal interpretation of how your divorce will end up. This frame of reference is usually based on an episode of “LA Law” or a best a friend who had a cousin who was divorced and got this or that type of settlement. While some of this advice might be true, you need to remember that your divorce is like a fingerprint. There is not any other one like it. Nobody else had your kids, nobody else had your exact situation and if you go to court you will have a completely different set of attorneys and judges. Don’t get false expectations from well-intended but misinformed and subjective sources!

Two - Thinking you will get To tell your side of the story to a judge and that a judge will punish your spouse for being a bad person!
Instead, here's what happens: your case will be given (at most) 20 minutes at each hearing. And worse, you'll get to sit there and let your attorney talk! Do your self a favor, take a little field trip down to the Scott Matheson Court House in Salt Lake? On Tuesdays and Wednesdays, the Judges hear different divorce issues. You will learn from this field trip that the divorcing couples never get to speak. They don’t get to tell the Judge anything! They have to trust that their attorney will be persuasive. The judge does not want to hear why your spouse is a bad person or why your life has been turned upside down because of your spouse's selfishness. The judge also won't hand out any punishment to your spouse because he or she is an evil person. You'd better hope your attorney is prepared!

Three - (The Killer): Assuming a judge can make better decisions than you can.
We're always amazed that two reasonably normal and decent people would rather let a Judge in a court of law determine how their children will be parented than come up with a plan on their own. They could do better most of the time by flipping a coin. An agreement a Judge imposes on you will never be better than one you come up with because it was not your idea!

After all, you know what’s best for your children! And what kind of message do you send your children by showing them that you're too stubborn to put a parenting plan to together without a judge!

To learn more about how to avoid these and other common mistakes call a Divorce Mediator at the Divorce Mediation Institute of Utah at 568-0789 or toll free at 866-WE AGREE. You may also visit our website at
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